I hate you then I love you

you make me sad
you make me strong
you make me mad
you make me long for you

you make me live
you make me die
you make me laugh
you make me cry for you

I hate you then I love you

Celine Dion

Why is it that we can't say the things we need to? It's like you're about to type something or say something and you're thinking it, you know you need to say it but suddenly your throat gets blocked and it's like cement and you can't speak

I'm so excited!

I'm excited for everybody to get back from their various summer holiday spots,
to buy paper and pencils for school,
for the first day of school,
to take the school bus,
for opera season,
for the cooler weather,
to have unlimited texting,
to see my friends every day,
to learn new things,
to go to the market again,
for piano,
for Production,
to get new boots,
for Christmas,
and to bake and cook more!

You'll do, naturally, only as you wish

Morgan, I doubt you still read this, but on the day we all got our marks and went downtown for breakfast - why does it feel like that was the last hug I'll ever give you? And now why do I feel I'll never see you again? When you went home that day, did you have sex? If you did I hope it was better than hanging out with the people who loved you, cared about you and hadn't seen you in 5 months.

Never

I've realized that I'll never be the girl you've always wanted me to be; I'll never be the daughter you have designed in your head because I will be me, however I want to be.

What does she have to do to make you love her again?

You cannot tell yourself that you won't cry. There are going to be so many times in the future when you will cry. There are going to be so many times when it hurts so bad you can't be strong anymore.

He's one of those things that you've always wanted but know that you'll never have.

Sometimes I want to tell you but other times I'm glad you don't know.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done

You have no idea how much I hate it when you get high. I know when you're high. You don't have to try to hide it.
I know I can't do a thing about it and it pisses me off that you can do something about it but you don't. I wish you would realize that weed is slowly killing you, and that you are making one of the stupidest decisions one can make. It stinks, it makes you stink, it makes you sound stupid and makes people feel like they can treat you like an idiot when you're high. I love you so much. I wish you at least didn't do it so often.

I don't want to lose you.

The only thing worse than you yelling at me is when you yell at my my mother, your wife.

Just today I was thinking about Granny and Grandad and how they're so happy together. Grandad takes care of Granny every day and when she can't remember something Grandad just explains it to her. I sometimes see little old couples walking arm in arm or hand in hand, the man opens the door and waits for his wife to go inside. Obviously this stuff exists if we can see it, but I look at my parents and just can't believe it does. I want to prove them wrong.

We always see that things are wrong and we want to change them, but we can't change them. We can't change people and make them see, and it SUCKS.

Let there be condoms!

I was just thinking about that whole issue with AIDS and how it might be a bit better if they had condoms. I don't at all agree with the Pope saying no to condoms. Even if it's not going to solve AIDS, I believe that condoms would help. Some people with AIDS wouldn't get pregnant, and therefore the child wouldn't have AIDS, and if the people with AIDS (terrible to say this) eventually die out, maybe AIDS will be cured. People in Africa are going to have sex no matter what the Pope says, so they may as well do it with protection.

secret twelve

You've changed. You're becoming really annoying. You've changed and I don't like it.

It's so easy

I'll bet we spend so much time on the computer because it's just so easy to get lost. There are so many pictures we want to look at, so many songs we want to listen to, so many people we want to talk to, so many things we want to see and write.... there's so much on the internet. We can read books we don't own, get songs we don't buy, read someone else's diary without getting a hold of the book, travel to places we may never visit. When you're on the internet time just flies by... hours and hours are gone and you won't get them back, but you don't even care because it's like you're in a whole other world.

secret eleven

I'm scared that I'll never really feel love, only lust. Also I'm scared that if I get married, I won't love him forever.

secret ten

The only way I'm going to get by is if I focus on one thing: the future

secret nine

I'm not wearing any makeup and I think I look pretty

secret eight

I feel amazing right now.

secret seven

I'm really starting to dislike my brother, which sucks because we used to get along really well. He's turning into such a jerk.