Wednesday, March 31, 2010
secret eleven
I'm scared that I'll never really feel love, only lust. Also I'm scared that if I get married, I won't love him forever.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
secret seven
I'm really starting to dislike my brother, which sucks because we used to get along really well. He's turning into such a jerk.
secret six
I fall for people too easily, I'm too scared (but scared of what?!) to actually get involved, and I have a really hard time with the though of having a boyfriend, even though I've had boyfriends before.
Baby, it's a wild world.
Sometimes when I read my friends' blogs I just can't believe it. It seems like everyone hates themselves or wants to die. If I knew how to help I would, but no one's ever going to learn anything, do anything, feel anything, unless they want to. For the past few months, in my group of friends there's been loads of drama and loads of bullshit. I contributed to it, and if I could I'd go back and change that. What I have learned, though, is that each one of us has a story that could break your heart. It's incredible! You see all these people at school laughing, smiling, talking to their friends, walking around... and you just think that nothing's wrong with them and they're just happy. Then you think about how everyone hurts, everyone's going through something, and then you realize - holy shit... I wonder what kind of pain they're going through and if anybody knows.
From now on, I'm not going to talk about people, judge people, think too much about people or purposely hurt people. If anyone wants to talk to me about something that's been bothering them or something they just need to get out, I'll listen closely, but I'll try to work things out and help.
We're all going through something... why do we all have to go through something? Whether a family member has cancer, you're depressed, someone broke up with you, you're failing, your parents fight, you don't have a good relationship with your parents... it's amazing what a teenager has to go through every day.
Amongst all these issues, there is almost always a bright side, no matter how many tears are clouding our vision. If you're depressed, spend lots of time with the people that make you laugh, and spend lots of time doing things that make you smile. If someone broke up with you, it wasn't meant to be, you can flirt with whoever you want, fall for whoever you want... it's a new beginning and one day everyone will find the guy or girl for them. If your parents fight, it's not your fault. They're probably going through tough times or they've fallen out of love, but there isn't anything you can do about it. If you don't have a good relationship with your parents, try helping them out around the house and doing little things like asking them how their day went. Hang in there, because high school won't last forever and you'll be a better person for sticking through it and graduating.
From now on, I'm not going to talk about people, judge people, think too much about people or purposely hurt people. If anyone wants to talk to me about something that's been bothering them or something they just need to get out, I'll listen closely, but I'll try to work things out and help.
We're all going through something... why do we all have to go through something? Whether a family member has cancer, you're depressed, someone broke up with you, you're failing, your parents fight, you don't have a good relationship with your parents... it's amazing what a teenager has to go through every day.
Amongst all these issues, there is almost always a bright side, no matter how many tears are clouding our vision. If you're depressed, spend lots of time with the people that make you laugh, and spend lots of time doing things that make you smile. If someone broke up with you, it wasn't meant to be, you can flirt with whoever you want, fall for whoever you want... it's a new beginning and one day everyone will find the guy or girl for them. If your parents fight, it's not your fault. They're probably going through tough times or they've fallen out of love, but there isn't anything you can do about it. If you don't have a good relationship with your parents, try helping them out around the house and doing little things like asking them how their day went. Hang in there, because high school won't last forever and you'll be a better person for sticking through it and graduating.
secret five
Everyone says that being loved is the best feeling in the world. For some reason I think I'm scared to agree.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Dear Lacey
I think you are one of the most beautiful people in this world. I can't imagine what it would be like to just go to school one day and you not be there. I wonder if all the pain would go away if we all lived in a big house together and we could see each other whenever we wanted and we'd all be happy together. I'm scared that one day I'm going to wake up and someone's going to tell me that you're gone. I just can't imagine. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm always here for you no matter what, and so are all of your friends. You're a beautiful girl, Lacey. I'd hate to see you go. (L)
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
secret one
It hurts every time you hug her good bye.
It's completely my problem.
I'm going to act happy.
It's completely my problem.
I'm going to act happy.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Yeah.
Yeah, I know what a coma feels like too.
Yeah, come to think of it, I think I've had a couple of aneurysms over the last few months.
And oh yeah, I forgot. I've actually had a brain tumor before. Yeah.
Come on, now. Holy fuck, woman.
Just because your teacher has given up on your class and he's acting like a "fucking idiot" doesn't mean he's had a fucking brain tumor. Wait, my mistake. My uncle started acting like an idiot when he got his brain tumor too! I couldn't even type that sentence without crying. My uncle is dying, he might be dead before I start grade 11, he might never walk my cousin down the aisle, he might never cerebrate his 25th wedding anniversary, I may not even see him ever again.
Every time you bring up the fact that your head hurts, you say "My head hurts so bad. I probably have a brain tumor or something." or "Oh my God, I feel like I just had like a million aneurysms." I am constantly reminded of my uncle and the state he's in. Do you know what that feels like? Can you even understand? I treat you SO WELL and you don't take the time to talk to me. You're still mad at me and you don't have a reason for it. You almost ignore me; you talk to me to be polite and to try not to cause more drama and you don't even know what I'm going through. You think you have a brain tumor? Ask anyone with a REAL brain tumor and see what it's like.
Yeah, come to think of it, I think I've had a couple of aneurysms over the last few months.
And oh yeah, I forgot. I've actually had a brain tumor before. Yeah.
Come on, now. Holy fuck, woman.
Just because your teacher has given up on your class and he's acting like a "fucking idiot" doesn't mean he's had a fucking brain tumor. Wait, my mistake. My uncle started acting like an idiot when he got his brain tumor too! I couldn't even type that sentence without crying. My uncle is dying, he might be dead before I start grade 11, he might never walk my cousin down the aisle, he might never cerebrate his 25th wedding anniversary, I may not even see him ever again.
Every time you bring up the fact that your head hurts, you say "My head hurts so bad. I probably have a brain tumor or something." or "Oh my God, I feel like I just had like a million aneurysms." I am constantly reminded of my uncle and the state he's in. Do you know what that feels like? Can you even understand? I treat you SO WELL and you don't take the time to talk to me. You're still mad at me and you don't have a reason for it. You almost ignore me; you talk to me to be polite and to try not to cause more drama and you don't even know what I'm going through. You think you have a brain tumor? Ask anyone with a REAL brain tumor and see what it's like.
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